


The Very Best Plan

by VaultOfMelkurMistress



Series: The Missy and Ainley Adventures [7]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (1963), Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, Humour, Light-Hearted, They think they're being very clever
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-25
Updated: 2019-11-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:00:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21564943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VaultOfMelkurMistress/pseuds/VaultOfMelkurMistress
Summary: Missy and Ainley set about stealing Sixie's coat
Series: The Missy and Ainley Adventures [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1276067
Comments: 5
Kudos: 31
Collections: A Mayhem of Masters





	The Very Best Plan

**Author's Note:**

> I have the concept for the next one shot in this series forming, but please drop any prompts or wishes in the comments for where Missy and Ainley go next.

The Master raised an eyebrow in amusement as Missy twirled and danced around his console room to the sound of an earth record - he had paid little attention when she told him fondly about dancing on the stage of a grand music hall in 1920’s earth. He did like the thought of rapt attention, but when it were for dancing...that felt a very strange concept to him. 

As the record ended and the needle made a continuous soft scratching sound, she curtsied, remaining in position and awaiting applause. He shook his head in amusement and stepped past her, taking hold of the needle arm and placing it back on it’s cradle before closing the lid of the record player. When still, she had not moved and began to cough loudly, he sighed and clapped briefly. Missy smiled and stood up, laughing as she put her arms around his neck and kissed his cheek.

“Were to now my dear Master?”

“Well,” he said, his arm settling around her corseted waist. “We unintentionally visited one of us - pleasant afternoon of course, but I rather feel I would like to visit someone else.”

“Anyone I know?” she asked teasingly, as if they ever needed to say it aloud.

He chose not to answer and laughed, turning to the console and entering coordinates. “I last spoke to him here, so we should really drop in.”

“Oh yes, we really should. Which one dearest?”

“The one with that shocking colourful coat,” he said in distaste.

“Oh yes, good job we liked basic black so much - imagine the horror if we clashed!”

“Quite so. Now, shall we steal his TARDIS, or kidnap his human pets?” he asked.

“Oh I’m sure we can be a little be inventive,” Missy said thoughtfully.

“How so?”

“Something creative - something annoying...something very _us_ ,” she mused.

“I suggest we steal his coat,” the Master simply said.

“That,” Missy began, her eyes alight with excitement. “Is the best plan we have ever had!”

“We truly are brilliant,” he said.

“We are - I am always impressed with how clever we are,” she said.

The plan was, in their opinion, quite perfect.

The Master watched on screen, a mere few meters away from his future self as she waited, capitalising on the fact that this Doctor had not laid eyes upon his future incarnation before. They had the edge. They had a beautiful advantage.

The Master spoke through a microscopic circuit that Missy simply slipped at the side of her head, secured with a hair pin. She had suspected that one way communication from herself might be rather annoying, even though it was all in the spirit of tormenting the Doctor, so she had made adjustments to address the balance.

“Oh! If only someone would assist me! I am surely MAD!” Missy said in a very over dramatic tone.

It worked. The Doctor’s interest was peaked and he approached her, frowning.

“Whatever is wrong?” he asked.

“Oh, thank you - but I fear you may find me quite mad, as just last night...I saw  _ aliens _ !”

“Aliens? In 19th century London?” he said, mostly to himself, his interest immediately piqued 

“Why, yes, of course it is the 19th century, and where am I if not in London?” Missy said, her voice a perfect tone of late 1900’s affluence and high social standing.   
  
“The fool cannot resist a helpless human in trouble!” The Master commented, snickering. 

Missy merely smiled and gave the Doctor her very best impression of an innocent scared human who had seen an alien species for the first time. 

“What makes you think you have seen aliens?”

“Well...they came out of a strange vessel that simply was not of this world! They had glowing eyes...and...and..oh, please won't you help me?” Missy pleaded as she closed the distance between them and threw herself into his arms. 

The Master laughed, placing a bowl of popcorn on the table beside him as he zoomed in on the screen and took in every detail of the Doctor’s coat.

“What was he thinking? And why the cat?” the Master said.

“Glowing eyes you say?” the Doctor said.

“Yes,” Missy said, practically draping herself around him, her fingers running over the cat pin. “Nice kitty.  _ Meow _ .”

The Doctor prised her hands off of him and held her at arms length with a look of total disbelief.

“Meow?” He said in astonishment. “Did you just say  _ meow _ ?”

“Yes, I did.” Missy said. “Now stop distracting me! The mysterious alien vessel is just over there - behind that hat shop. Quickly! Oh, but one very important thing. The aliens ignored me..but their eyes got even more glowy when something shiny caught their eye - so maybe you should take off your coat as it is rather... _ eye catching _ ...or lose the element of surprise. Don’t worry, I'll hold it for you”

“And what, was the shiny something?” he asked.

“Something mysterious honey, I’m only looking out for your well being and that of that beautiful coat. Best pop it off and allow me to assist you by taking care of it for you. What if they are coat stealing aliens!”

The Doctor stared at her in confusion and total disbelief, “madam, I have to agree that you are quite mad!”

“Yes, yes, I do hear that quite often,” she said as she held her hand out and gestured impatiently. “Come on then, pop it off and give it to me.”

The Doctor turned around and marched in the direction of the pretend alien sighting without another word to Missy, who merely let out a frustrated sigh and rolled her eyes before marching after him. 

“You have five minutes Missy and then it's my turn,” the Master said.

“Wait. When did I invent that rule?”

“When you were watching your future self make a ridiculous mess of a simple act of apparel theft,” he said smugly. “My turn!”

“Oh I don’t think so! Just watch me steal that oddly attractive monstrosity!”

Missy ran after the Doctor, overtaking him and jumping right in front of him, stopping in his tracks and took his face in her hands, kissing him hard. The Doctor froze, completely confused and taken back, until Missy’s hands slid up his chest and rested on his shoulders. He frowned and then grabbed her wrists, pushing her back and holding her at arms length once more as he looked at her with annoyed scrutiny.

“Well! Now I see what’s going on!” he announced, quite pleased with himself.

“You do? Really? I’m impressed, what’s going on?” Missy asked.

“You are some kind of decoy - no doubt working for the very alien invaders you warned me about!”

“That’s your deduction? Really?” Missy laughed and smiled as the form of her past self teleported into the alleyway few feet from where the Doctor stood. “Here I am, trying to save your coat above my own safety from alien invaders, out of the goodness of my heart and you think i’m _ in on it _ !”

“Your concern is for my coat rather than...why  _ are _ you so concerned for my coat?”

Missy smirked and shrugged herself free from his grip, her hands moving straight to caress the lapels of his coat. His hands grasped hers straight away, pushing her away with an exasperated look.

“Where, are the aliens?!” his patience worn very thin.

The Master simply walked quietly behind him, stepping closer with each word Missy spoke. He waited, biding his time, her distraction working really rather well. 

“The aliens are everywhere! Maybe they look just like you or me...maybe you’re an alien...oh...OH...are  _ you _ an alien?” Missy gasped.

The Doctor threw his arms out to the side in frustration and disbelief.

“Really! Will you  _ please  _ just, show me where you saw the aliens?”

The Master pounced, pulling the Doctor out of one arm of his coat. The Doctor had no time to react as Missy stepped around him and the Master stepped in front. The sight of the Master he knew so well, standing in front of him so suddenly, smirking triumphantly, proving quite the distraction as Missy grabbed the other sleeve and pulled the jacket all the way off, running further down the alleyway clutching their prize. The Master merely chuckled and stepped around the stunned Doctor before running to catch her up.

“Really? This was all your idea of a grand plan? Bring it back now!”

Missy slipped her hand in the Master’s and they both broke into laughter as they teleported out of the alleyway.

The Doctor stared at the empty space where the Master and his strange accomplice had disappeared, grasping his coat. ”Well, that’s his latest plan is it? Who would have thought - my coat! The envy of the Master!”

They were still laughing as they teleported in, Missy first assisting her past self by putting the coat on him and grasping by the lapels as she pulled him toward her and kissed him.

“Does brighten you up a bit,” she said, stepping back and looking at the coat with a critical eye. 

“It would brighten up the centre of a black hole,” the Master said as he slipped it off, stepping closer to Missy and assisting her to put it on instead. 

“Oh, isn’t it just….” Missy said, spinning around.

“Yes, isn’t it just!” the Master said in amusement. 

“Oh, dearest,” she said with a sudden wave of excitement. “Do you think he will go chasing after us, hunting us down for our terrible crime?”

“I would certainly hope so,” the Master chuckled. “I am quite looking forward to that.”

“Oh me too, my dear Master. Shall we leave some lovely big breadcrumbs? You know how hard it is for him to notice out subtle clues.”

“A literal calling card, our names cleverly disguised on a note. Placed at scene of chaos along the Doctor’s timeline!” he said with a flash of excitement.

“Oh yes my darling!” she said, matching his excitement. “I shall be Ms Siy.”

“Very good choice, very inventive,” he smiled. “I, shall be Mr Tase.”

“Oh wonderful, I  _ am _ clever. The Doctor will never suspect a thing.”

The broke into laughter as they signed their calling card, feeling really very ingenious.


End file.
